Typically in the grieving process we encounter five stages:

1) Denial and Isolation- This carries us through the first wave of shock. This is where we refuse to accept the reality of the situation before us;

2) Anger- The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one. Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry;

3) Bargaining- The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control;

If only we had sought medical attention sooner…

If only we got a second opinion from another doctor…

If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…

Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality;

4) Depression- Two types of depression are associated with mourning.

The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. We worry about the costs and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others who depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words.

The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our loved one farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug;

5) Acceptance- Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression

Please in times of tragedy reach out to our dedicated staff of professionals, clergy and laymen to help and assist you during these turbulent times. We are here for you.

A myth about grief is that it’ll destroy us. People tend to bounce back after loss much faster than we previously thought. What’s effective really depends on what feels right to you. Identifying your thoughts and feelings, expressing them in some way and perhaps sharing the process with someone you trust can be helpful.

People also can benefit from considering how they’ve grappled with tough times in the past. If you’re struggling with anxiety, what has helped you before? You may turn to new tools, such as meditation, physical activity or deep breathing. Counseling can help, as well.

The more effective treatments have focused on getting people back into their life and moving forward,” he added.

All experts recommend reaching out to loved ones and getting support. Some people may feel isolated and believe others don’t understand what they’re going through So support groups may also be helpful.